Looking for “the right one”
There are two types of clients that are seeking counseling and advice for the couple issues: those, who, for some reason, fail to construct a relationship and find “the right one” and those who already constitute a couple and are dealing with the crisis in the relationship or have fights and misunderstandings and want to find different ways of communication and break the vicious pattern. How can I help with these issues? Due to my personal story, due to my deep transformation and becoming conscious of many processes that were going inside, this theme is especially dear to me. I could overcome the obstacles and create the relationship I longed for. I could change the destructive and sick patterns I was using in my relationships and substitute them by the healthy and conscious ones. Now I am happily married and a mother of two. I am capable and eager to accompany you to find your way to a happy and satisfactory relationship. I will only use methods that I applied to myself and are resulted effective. We can see if there are situations in your life that are repeating every now and then and how we can open the path to the new ones, anything that can arise during the process is worth attention, we will work these points through to lead you to the relationship you have always dreamed of.
We are looking for the relationships, making the reference to our models of the family of origin. And even if we want to have a different scenario of life, the subconsciousness is very powerful. Doing the contrary that we have seen in our family or repeating the same – both are two sides of the same medal, only through putting consciousness we can change the screenplay and create our new one. The more we know and accept ourselves, being aware of our needs and of what makes us happy, the more is likely we find a person who is compatible with us. To accept ourselves the way we are with our strong parts and with the weak ones is the first step in order to accept another person, without trying to change anything.
The crisis in the couple
A couple therapy is needed when all resources within the couple to negotiate are finished. Communication is a very important part in the relationship, but rarely we know how to communicate effectively, how to listen and to be heard, how to express our feelings without hurting each other. I can help you to negotiate constructively, be a mediator, a neutral third part. The work is complex because each partner comes from a different family. Many times the crush is not just between two people but between two family systems with their own values and education. Many times we ask from our partner something that was not given by our parents. To close the pending issues with our parents helps a lot for a healthy life within the couple. In order to solve the crisis in the relationship the effort and desire from both parts is needed. In fact, the whole process is similar to one-on-one therapy, I will ask you what brought you to me, how you feel with the situation, what preceded it. I expect you both to be open and honest. Sometimes there are too much things mixed all together and it may take some time to sort out the important information. And sometimes so many years have passed before the couple decides to seek help, that there are plenty of resentment and reproaches accumulated that it is even hard to start talking about it. Depending on the process, I may ask you to attend separately on some sessions to have the opportunity to talk to each of you individually. Sexuality, communication, trust, values in common, goals in common all these concepts are important in the couple. If there is breach in one, it can easily affect another one. Never is too late to ask for help, even if you have taken the decision to divorce, with the help of specialist you can make it as smooth as possible, especially if there are children involved. The crisis may finish with taking your relationship or marriage on the new level, or sometimes the best decision is to terminate and start each other a new life. I am married and have 2 kids which is a great practical support for me when dealing with the couples counseling, apart from the therapeutical methods, I can always give you my point of view on the certain situations as a mother and a wife and not only therapist.