“Objectification” in the context of relationships means contact in which one person sees in the other not a person, but an “object”, an object for the embodiment of his own desires. Anyone who does this is in an immature position. It takes a certain degree of maturity, growing up, to begin to see people in a complex, not fragmented way.

Healthy development includes respecting others as people with their own rights, needs, limitations, good and bad traits. A man or woman who views another person as an object and looks at him solely from the point of view of satisfying his own needs is not capable of healthy, mature relationships, especially romantic or sexual ones.

People prone to objectification are less capable of empathy than others. A person who sees others holistically can look at the world through the eyes of another, notice similarities and differences with him, recognize strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. These abilities determine the ability to sympathize and take another person’s point of view. It is difficult for a person who sees another as an object or function to have compassion and take the other’s place.

Objectification depends on the degree to which the child has been emotionally accepted or rejected by his immediate environment. If his needs were not met during childhood, the individual will feel insignificant, incompetent and unworthy of love. The understanding of the subject is connected by a person’s attitude towards himself as an independent, active figure.

Subjectivity is a category in psychology that expresses the essence of a person’s inner world, the possibility of creative transformation of the surrounding reality, the expression of one’s own opinion, emotions, feelings, based not on how it should be, but on how the subject himself thinks and feels.

Subjective relationships represent the interaction between people based on the recognition of each of them as an individual with their own unique needs, rights and values. In such relationships, people consider each other’s individuality and strive for mutual understanding, cooperation and respect.

Objectified relations can be compared to commodity-money relations. In such a relationship, one person views the other as an object that can be used or exchanged for something to satisfy his or her own needs, just as goods are exchanged for money. The value and significance of another person is determined solely in the context of obtaining benefits or satisfying one’s own interests. Such relationships lack recognition of the other person’s individuality, uniqueness, and rights, making them unhealthy and lacking depth.

1. Insufficient preparation and training.

A psychologist must have a strong theoretical foundation and understanding of psychological concepts, methods and techniques. Insufficient education or a frivolous approach to training can lead to inadequate understanding of the client’s problems, incorrect diagnosis and incompetent assistance.

2. Neglect of supervision.

Lack of supervision can result in missed valuable opportunities for learning, reflection and improvement of practice. Learning new methods and techniques, as well as analyzing individual situations with a supervisor, expands the possibilities in working with a client, allows you to avoid mistakes and correct any difficulties that arise in a timely manner.

3. Too strong identification with the client.

Empathy is great, but experiencing the client’s problems as one’s own can lead to a shift in focus to one’s own experiences and limit the professional’s ability to maintain objectivity and independence in the work.

4. Work for free, hesitate to take money from clients.

The inability to establish financial relationships with clients and working for free lead to rapid burnout, as well as a decrease in the assessment and recognition of the professional skills of a psychologist. Free, regular help also does not help the client take responsibility for the recovery process.

5. Help without asking.

In the quest of a novice psychologist to radically improve a client’s life, one must always adhere to the principle of moderation and proceed from the client’s request. Setting clear and realistic therapeutic goals is an important aspect of a psychologist’s work. It is necessary to be able to listen and understand the client’s needs in order to formulate goals that will be aimed at solving the problems expressed by the client.

6. The desire to cure the client in 1 session.

It is important to understand that the psychotherapeutic process requires time and gradual development, as well as systematic and in-depth exploration, working on symptoms and developing new skills and understanding. Psychotherapy can be a process spanning several sessions, several months, or even several years, depending on the complexity and nature of the client’s problem.

7. Inability to set boundaries.

Failure to set boundaries can lead to a violation of ethical standards and even the creation of a dependent relationship with the client. Clear time frames for the session, a preliminary agreement on the terms of therapy, the opportunity to write between sessions – all of this helps create a clear framework in which there is clarity and safety.

8. Enter into friendly or intimate relationships with clients.

Working with psychological needs implies a high level of trust and openness; the psychologist actually acts as a parent, an adult on whom the client can rely; abuse of trust causes irreparable harm to the client. The client’s romantic feelings towards the psychologist are most often due to transference. If a psychologist cannot cope with his feelings, he needs to undergo supervision and redirect the client to another specialist.

9. Take responsibility for the client’s decisions.

The consultant’s task is to help the client learn to make responsible decisions independently. The client will be able to come to a solution to his problem not if he receives a ready-made recipe or algorithm of actions, but will be able to identify the origins and underlying reasons for his actions.

10. Self-confidence, lack of self-analysis and personal therapy.

It is important to understand that self-confidence without proper self-analysis and personal therapy can become an obstacle to effective psychological help. Regardless of experience and status as a psychologist, a professional must constantly strive for self-development.

Without self-analysis and personal therapy, a psychologist may miss the opportunity to resolve his own emotional and psychological problems, to see his own stereotypes and prejudices, which can affect his work with clients, objectivity and impartiality.

After working with clients who have survived abusive relationships, I see a paradoxical but interesting feature: people who have survived such relationships perceive negative attention as something meaningful and important. In a toxic relationship, the abuser gives mixed signals, creating a sense of intense passion and attention, even if that attention is destructive.

When such clients try to leave and create new relationships where there are no extreme displays of attention, they develop a feeling of emptiness or boredom. After all, healthy relationships are based on respect, care and mutual understanding, and do not always manifest themselves through dramatic scenarios and emotional rollercoasters.

Abusive displays of attention, although seemingly intense, actually represent a distorted view of love. They create dependence and control, emotional swings from alienation and coldness to passionate scenes. A person gets hooked on a hormonal needle. In a healthy relationship, true love is shown through respect, support and care, not through toxic drama and manipulation.

People who experienced neglect and attachment trauma in childhood did not receive the emotional support and security they needed from their parents or caregivers. This results in an unstable attachment pattern where they seek comfort, validation and support in relationships but have difficulty setting healthy boundaries and recognizing their needs.

This has a huge impact on their understanding of love and affection in adulthood. They may end up in abusive relationships by seeking the same form of attention they received as children. Sometimes they may even justify their partners’ negative behavior as a sign of care or attention, because that’s the only thing they’ve ever known. Due to the lack of healthy models in childhood, they may not recognize warning signs or succumb to the feeling that this behavior is normal. The world is becoming upside down, concepts are being replaced. When the only form of attention available in childhood was through criticism and negativity, children grow up accustomed to the fact that yelling, devaluation, or even physical assault is better than complete indifference.

The person may begin to doubt themselves, feel that they deserve such treatment, or that they are not capable of healthier relationships. Moreover, abusive relationships can be both emotionally toxic and physically draining. Often, a person in such a relationship may feel constant stress, anxiety and worry, which leads to emotional and physical exhaustion, and constant retraumatization.

If you recognize yourself, it is important to remember that it is not your fault, but your responsibility. What can you do about it to improve your quality of life and relationships in the present?

Working on yourself and seeking help in therapy can play a huge role in re-evaluating your beliefs so you can set new, healthy boundaries for yourself and attract positive, supportive relationships into your life. This is a difficult but important step towards breaking free from stereotypes and building a healthier future.

Breaking free from such relationships can be a difficult but important step toward rebuilding your self-esteem and regaining emotional stability. The process begins with recognizing that the relationship is harmful and seeking support—whether through friends, family, or professionals. Gradually, through working on yourself and your environment, you can begin to restore your self-esteem and believe in your own worth.